A nit-picking nation

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail– Abraham Maslow   

Sri Lankans had been a caring nation. People here used to help their neighbours and were hospitable to visitors. If someone was in trouble everyone rushed to help. They surely were not only minding their own business but they were also genuinely concerned about other people’s businessess as well.  

Most of these wholesome features are maintained to date by almost all ethno-religious communities here. However of late, one has witnessed an unhealthy extension of this interest in the affairs of the others. That has come about as a result of being too judgmental. Perhaps we got it from our politicians who take every opportunity to pick on others instead of doing their own business. Whatever the contributory factors are the result has been that we have become a nation of fault-finders. We are always criticizing someone or something. With the economic crisis only fanning the flames there’s a perennial air of pessimism everywhere.  

Body shaming is one of the unhealthy offshoots of this habit of judging. With Sri Lankans too embracing the western ideals of size zero or six-pack abs of late anything other than these moulds has come under unfair criticism. Nowadays, the first thing one hears when two friends meet after some time or when one visits relatives or else even when two neighbours meet would be “my… you have got a pot, you need to work out” or “you have really gone down, aren’t you well?”. Some may make these comments out of genuine concern. However, even then, one rarely takes into consideration how it would affect the other party. 

At the end of the day it gives the message that the other is, at least temporary, a failure. Perhaps the person had some valid reasons to gain or lose weight, perhaps due to a hormonal imbalance or an illness. How inadequate and miserable the person would feel when every Tom, Dick and Harry asks about the change in weight? Even otherwise unless someone is a really close friend or a close relative should the weight of one be such a humongous matter of concern to another. Why are we walking around with a scale or a measuring tape everywhere we go? After all, not everyone on the road is competing Miss Universe or Mr. World. Let people just be. If they are not bothered about their looks so be it. If their fiancés or family are fine with them what business do we have to make them feel bad by commenting negatively on their looks? If they are really neglecting their health and binging they will face the music. If you are a close friend who notes his or her bad eating habits you can warn the person of repercussions. Fair enough. Otherwise however the never-ending habit of commenting on people’s weight is really ridiculous and also mean. 

Besides, ours many South Asian nations, including India are now known for this unhealthy habit. On the other hand many developed countries strongly condemn such behaviour as being unethical and wrong. It’s high time that we, Sri Lankans stopped commenting on everyone else’s body shape and instead mind his/her own business.