CHANDRAKALA RATNAYAKE (nee SENANAYAKE) Life has been dull in your absence

Time shall heal they say, but to me, time has only been intensifying the aching wound of my beloved mother’s absence in this world. She was the very special person who brought light into my life, from the day I was born. She was there not only during times of joy, but in times of deep sorrow and struggle. Even though her absence was felt throughout one whole year, I still feel her ray of light falling on me from heaven above. But, I admit with pain that the challenging moments have been appalling without Ammi’s presence. And, the dainty moments of joy have been dull in her absence.

My beloved mother departed this world, on May 12th 2017, after courageously fighting an ailment that was discovered, treated for, and persisted for three short months. Her condition left my father and me thinking that the duration of her illness would be minimal. The robust, courageous, good-looking and strong-willed lady in my mother did bear the pain without complaint, given the nature of her ailment. She set an example by not giving up until her very last breath. She was treated at the Coronary Care Unit of the Kurunegala Hospital after she was transferred from the Oncology Unit. My memory holds on tight with desolation, to the last nine hours that my mother fought for dear life, gasping. My mother was one of those who healed stronger during a crises.  

My mother lived a complete and dynamic life. She was the fourth among the seven siblings of the Senanayake family from Kurunegala. Having obtained her education at Maliyadeva Girls’ College in Kurunegala, she joined Hayleys Group back in the 1960’s, where she served for nine years. While in school and in later years she played basketball under the guidance of All-India Basketball Coach Mr. P. Chelladurai. After tying the knot with my father Ananda Ratnayake in 1973, she pursued a career at Marhaba Travels in Sharjah, U.A.E. where she served for several years before returning to Sri Lanka. There was a period in her life when she along with my father lived with me, in California U.S.A. However she returned to Sri Lanka before passing away.  

The grief caused by my mother’s demise has been continuously suffocating me throughout the past year and also choking me from time to time. This agony wraps my heart like an anaconda crushing the bones of its prey. Death has caused a heartache in me that none can heal. People say that time shall heal, but in reality, time apparently does not heal anything. Time, just has taught me how to live with the pain. 

I am aware that my mother is watching over me and appachchi from somewhere above. You are my Mona Lisa and you will always be beautiful, in my eyes!  
Sunalie Ratnayake