As a foreigner, whether you’ve only just arrived or you’ve been living in Sri Lanka for a while, with so much happening in a constantly changing city, it can be hard to keep up! Being ‘in the know’, can feel like an impossible task with new places opening faster than you can find your way there. 

Yes, you’ve read one of those guide books  that tells you about getting there, the geography, climate, history, politics, population, religion, languages, festivals, food, beliefs and what not to do, etc. But there are a few other things that you wish someone had told you about living in Sri Lanka and still more things you probably are learning daily. Like the time I was desperately trying to find a garbage bin whilst walking, to throw-away my ice-choc wrapper. There simply were none to be found on the streets of Colombo – or at least on the streets that I wearily trudged! 

It might be time to have some bins here and there, as the street walkers just chuck their beverage cans, paper cups and plastic bags where they please. But then again, our city fathers don’t work smart, maybe hard (although that’s hard to believe too), because you will see an army of cleaners descending on to the streets of Colombo, every morning, to  sweep these ‘throwaways’. 

During my walk, I also asked myself why there are so few benches? A friend ventured to explain their absence as a step to preventing homeless people from occupying them at night. Sounds plausible, but won’t arm rests prevent people from a lie-down? Given that the ‘aging population’ of the country is growing much faster than other South Asian countries and consequently having the highest proportion of elderly population in South Asia, wouldn’t  a few more benches be welcome – especially by old folks? 


Arriving
The immigration officer is the first official person you will meet in the country you’re going to be living in for the next two weeks or so. Immigration officers are rarely good ambassadors for their country, so do not expect him/her to be any different. A bigger collection of tin-pot dictators would be hard to find. They are the guardians of our frontier. Without their approval, no one may set foot on this soil. As it happens, they almost never speak. Like most immigration officers worldwide, they summon or dismiss – with hand gestures: Come here! Stop! Wait! Step back! Behind the yellow line! Go! Next! They are probably earthlings’ closest persistent effort of accommodating robots in their daily activities!

At the airport and at most public frequented toilets expect the floor to be wet. Many toilet floors are awash with water. Be prepared to exit with wet trouser cuffs. Don’t be surprised to observe a dirty wet brush or duster left to dry, on the washbasin counter corner.

It is highly improbable that you will see your luggage merrily spinning around the carousel within 15 minutes of your plane docking the gate. So, rushing to collect your luggage will make no difference to the inevitable wait – which when it rains heavily, can take ages.

Unlike in most other developed countries, (where airports are also literally being connected to the cities they serve by modern mass transit), the only convenient way of heading into Colombo or another town is by taxi.

If you arrive on a tourist visa, do not engage in any other activity such as delivering speeches at a public forum or promoting your business interests. This can land you in trouble – unless you are an ex-prime minister like Tony Blair or his Mon Cherie.


Survival skills
The terms ‘aunty’ and ‘uncle’ are used often when addressing elders and don’t be surprised to hear someone younger use it to refer to you! It is considered polite and respectful. The ‘younger lot’ refers to each other as ‘aiya’ (big brother) or ‘malli’ (younger brother). It is all to do with being one large ‘family’, and, as with what occurs in most modern families, the transgressions (minor or major), of loved ones are often overlooked in this paradise island.

People don’t follow the rules when boarding trains or buses or when entering lifts. In the West and other developed countries, one invariably always allow passengers get off trains, buses and lifts before trying to get on. Over here, standing to the left of the doors, so those leaving can walk straight out is just being stupid. 

On crowded buses and trains, it’s every man, woman and child for himself. 

Buses have right of way on Sri Lankan roads. 

Unless you tender the exact fare, forget about getting any balance money from the bus conductor. You need to ask for it. However, at the risk of getting abused – verbally or otherwise, be careful not to offend him.

Taxi/tuk tuk drivers will not ask you which way you want them travel to your destination. It’s better to have a look at a map before leaving so you have a general idea if you’re heading in the right direction because…

Motorists may stop at pedestrian crossings - mainly for fear of prosecution. But this is mostly in Colombo. In other places you use the crossing at your own peril.

Weather forecast: Partly wrong with a chance of being right: The local Meteorological Department follows the weather. In other words its predictions come more often than not, after the occurrence. So, when in doubt, either toss a coin or call the Meteorological Department. Whichever way, you can get it wrong only half the time since we only have sunny or rainy days in this country. 


Service norms
Most staff at shops, service centres and banks, requires the customer to greet them. Be warned    though: your cheerful ‘Good morning’ or ‘Thank you’ is apt to be returned with a blank stare. Do not expect an ‘Ayubowan’, ‘Good morning’, ‘Welcome’, ‘How are you today?’, ‘Thank you’, ‘Goodbye’ or ‘See you again’ salutation when you enter/leave the place. Some may say this is due to a language barrier but that’s a load of baloney, we locals too don’t receive any salutation in the local lingo either! 

Helpful or being a hindrance? Consider it a vast improvement if a sales assistant nowadays acknowledges your existence. Unlike in the West, do not mistake it for aloofness; it’s simply that the balance in customer service has shifted too far! Staff is mostly untrained or ‘plateaued’. Do not expect anyone to point out what actually suits you (only in one’s realm of fantasy will that occur), or a subtle: ‘Would you like to see it in blue instead?’ Instead, staff will stand right next to you and watch your every move. Either put up with it or get put off by it…

Unless you are paying with a credit card, have a good quantity of coins and loose change with you when shopping. Sri Lankan shops including supermarkets, ‘take away’ shops, pharmacies and the like, expect the customer to bring loose currency. It is a kind of reverse ‘mindset’ – as if the customer was running the business! 

It is prudent to check your bill – especially at supermarkets. It’s not about apples and oranges. In Sri Lanka it is the case of mangoes and bananas - you could be billed for the former, when you picked the latter. From the server to the cashier, staying focused is ever so unpredictable.

When the counter service  staff tell you to take a seat as it would take ‘about 10 minutes’, be prepared to wait over 20 minutes. Don’t expect to be called when the 10 minutes are up. It’s best to check progress unless you want to become invisible and be there until eternity. And do not expect any apology for the misguided time of wait.

Wild Sri Lanka: ‘Roadkill’ does not occur only on our highways. At our game parks you will see live animals and the occasional dead one too – courtesy of speeding vehicles in pursuit of a ‘sighting’.

Consulting a doctor in any major private hospital may require you to see him/her twice over or more, especially if you are asked to undergo any test/s. Be prepared to pay another consultation fee even if it is a visit to have your test report read. 

Should you for whatever reason die in hospital, ensure that your bills are paid. Citing ‘having a fiduciary responsibility towards the shareholders’, the hospital management may undertake not to release your body for non-settlement of the bill. 

Some of my fellow citizens may argue that what you encounter in Sri Lanka is far better than what you could experience in several other countries. I have no quarrel with that, but before we aspire to be the next Singapore or think of becoming the next big city for this or that reason, we will first need to undergo a paradigm shift in our  ‘wiring’ and embrace proper attitudes and behaviours toward other people in society, based on social and cultural norms, rules and laws. Failing which, our ‘ambitions’ flip over to becoming dubiously ‘ambiguous’. Call me a cynic or even perhaps a deeply disillusioned idealist – but building skyscrapers alone won’t get us there… No Sir, not even if we reach out to the heavens!

(Shafeek Wahab has an extensive background in hospitality management spanning over 30 years. He is a customer experience transformist, helping organisations improve business results by changing how they deal with customers. Whilst focusing on corporate education, training, consulting and coaching, he is passionate about identifying emerging best practices and helping companies become more customer centric. He can be contacted on [email protected]. Website: www.in2ition.biz)