By Shriyani Mangalika - Nikaweratiya   

There is a hospital attendant who has made it a habit to  return home after work drunk and act as a Doctor of Medicine. As a  result, the young men in the village have begun calling him’ ‘dostara  aiya’.

The other day, this hospital attendant had returned from  work late in the evening in a drunken state and his wife had begun  berating him. Trying to pacify her, he had told the wife, “Look here,  Menike…All patients make it a point to come to me for consultation…I was  so tired, I decided to take a small drink…”   

When he is at home, he would walk about with a water heater hung from his neck to pose as a doctor carrying his stethoscope.   

One day having taken a drink too many, he had been walking  up and down in the front yard of his house. A young man who had been  walking past his house had seen the hospital attendant and had hailed  him calling him ‘Dostara aiya!’.   

Elated by the honour accorded to him, the attendant had said: “ Malli, I am on my ward round!”   
On another day, the attendant had retired to bed with the  water heater on his neck. The following morning, he got late to wake up  and he had dressed up in a hurry and rushed to the hospital for duty.   
He had realised that he had the water heater hung from his neck only when the nurses in the ward had started laughing at him.   

He had immediately removed the water heater from his neck  and said: “Given the epidemics galore these days, I have made it a  point to drink only boiled-cooled water. So, I have brought the water  heater with me!”   
The explanation given by him had drawn loud laughter from the nursing staff present.