RAW DEALS

By Angela Seneviratne

Hellieow dear hearts and suffering people, I do not mean to be pinching but reality is such, we are all suffering. I’m sorry I had to take a wee break last month to breathe, what with the lack of electricity and my being in a space sans ventilation, I could not brave three to six hours of baking in the dark. I’m using the trending phrase nowadays and am in an “undisclosed location ‘for security reasons.”. Ha ha ha!!

Like they say swiveling on bar stools with the drinking machangs these days, we are in pukka down right mess!! No-one knows the solutions to get out of the mire though everyone talks with great authority on current issues and slams fists on counters slamming the rulers that were, and the rulers who are in place.
We are all cheated. Serve us right for foolishly believing in all the PR that was in place.
It reminds me of what happens when you are bluffed by telemarketers.
Do you ever get tempted by those TV commercials and become the proud owner of something you don’t need? You know the kind of commercial, “Hurry and buy now and we will send you two instead of one.”  Oh, you get the item, but it is always something of questionable quality that you would never buy in a store. You don’t need one, much less two.

Okay, I confess.

I took the bait yesterday and bought a comfy cushion — I mean two comfy cushions. They are foam with a jell cushion inside. Sounds pretty comfy, huh? That’s what I thought. It was expensive, $20 plus shipping and handling — but I get a second one for free, just for paying shipping and handling. I don’t know what I will do with a second one since I only have one bottom, but that’s beside the point.
It really was not as much of an impulse buy as it seems, honestly. My computer chair always seems to get hard after a while, regardless of the quality of the chair. I tried buying a seat cushion, but it was too small and didn’t work. I tried stealing the cushion off the rocking chair in the bedroom, which worked well except the rocking chair is wood and really needs a seat cushion.

There must be a decent cushion I can buy somewhere, I thought. WHAM! There it was right before my eyes in a TV commercial. “I want that,” I thought, even before they gave the strange number to call and even before I found out I would receive a second one for free. What a deal!
So, I ordered.

I can never write the number down in time, but the web address was easy to remember. As it turned out, shipping and handling was USD 10 for each cushion, USD20, exactly the price of the first cushion, so I didn’t exactly get anything for free. Of course, I didn’t realize that until I had already given my credit card number and clicked the “buy now” button.

This is expensive for a couple of cushions. I would never pay that much in a store especially now with the new exchange rates regardless of how numb my bottom was. They didn’t say anything about returns if you are not satisfied. However, like most people I will probably keep them regardless. It is too much trouble to send things back.
I am looking forward to receiving my cushions in only 6-8 weeks. By the time they come, I will probably forget that I ordered them just like it happens with local online purchases. I’m still trying to think of a use for the second cushion. Maybe I can give it to the Chief Occupant, although he has not complained about his bottom getting numb. Of course, he has a new chair.
My old chair was so hard that I took his old one. It is a little bit softer. The main problem with his old chair is that it loses the pressure. I can adjust it to the highest position and by the end of the day, it is in the lowest position and my knees are under my chin.

When I get the new cushions, in only 6-8 weeks, I can go back to my old chair that is hard but doesn’t lose pressure. I may even stack the cushions and use both to make it really comfy. See, I’ve got this all figured out.
Meanwhile, I saw the neatest expandable hose on TV. It is lightweight and shrinks up to nearly nothing when it isn’t being used. Buy one hose and you get a second one for free. I don’t really need a hose right now, but you can always use an extra hose sooner or later. Hurry while supplies last! So, what did you buy that you didn’t need?
Doesn’t if remind you about the situation we are all in now? We all thought we are getting a good deal. Two for the price of one and didn’t even receive it as promised.