Roma lived to be 90 years old, which is a journey that most Sri Lankan women would be blessed to share

Roma de Zoysa

Roma de Zoysa was a flawless aristocrat who was the subject of many discussions around the ‘Los Angeles Si Lankan’ circles. The first time I met her, her presence was of no surprise, however; the impression she embedded in me was never to fade away. 

Roma lived to be 90 years old, which is a journey that most Sri Lankan women would be blessed to share. Roma was born into one of the most respected families from the south of Sri Lanka. Roma led her own life under her own terms and influenced a then patriarchal social environment to embrace the feminine impact as well. She wouldn’t let a social event occur without her involvement nor without influence with solid diplomacy and spiritual guidance.

An association, initiated by Roma, made friends with Ardni, my wife and Nadyenka, our daughter, almost instantly. Nadyenka was one of the many friends she made amongst children of that generation. Roma enjoyed sharing her experience and priceless knowledge which became the exclusive property of those who attended a ‘finishing school’ of yesteryear.

The De Zoysa’s were a family in Sri Lanka which was second to none among families who lead the passageway of ‘power’ throughout the twentieth century. Her father, Stanley De Zoysa, was the Minister of Finance in the Bandaranaike government in 1956. Amongst her paternal uncles were Dickey, a well-known businessman of the time, Sydney, Deputy Inspector General of Police, Lucian, a cricket commentator, and A. C. (Bunty), a criminal lawyer in Hulftsdorp. Roma’s grandfather was Sir Francis De Zoysa, a member of the then State Council and also a President of Ceylon National Congress. 

Roma may have been extremely proud of her heritage, but she showed that prestige and grace of heritage with the calm and elegance of a non-interfering mother and aunt.  She walked through that overpowering masculine majority with an appealing smile and wit that was as sharp. Wherever she was present she made friends and associates with elegance and grace. 
She was the Secretary of the Sri Lanka America Association of Southern California (SLAASC) and the very next year was elected unanimously for the post of President. Her contribution as President of SLAASC was unique and still remains a subject of the Southern California conversation.
We shall remember with fondest memories of solace and peace of mind found through the memories of such a lady, Roma, who counselled her friends and foes alike in the simplest and most intimate manner tending to disarm the fiercest of foes and the gentlest of associates. 

I was in that rare circle of Roma’s friends with whom she interacted freely and candidly. People will remember her charm more than her cursory comments; they will cherish her company.
Roma endured and withstood all the suffering and inequities of life. Yet, she lived a full life with Sonali, her loving daughter, in Southern California. On Thursday June twentieth night, before the stroke of midnight, Roma, walked gently into the night never to return. We shall cherish her memories.
May she attain Nibbana! 

(by Palitha Pelpola)