Loved ones in Care Homes…

1.What made you want to put your relative in a care home/home for the elders?

2·What has been your experience of putting him/her in such a place?

3·Do they have sufficient activities for the residents?

4· What about socializing – do the residents get the opportunity to socialize etc?

5· What are the advantages and disadvantages of having your loved one in a care home?

6· What if any are the improvements that can be made?

7· What about quality of food, cleanliness, laundry etc. at the home?

8· Are there a lot of rules and regulations at the home or are for instance the residents allowed to have visitors, get about on their own etc?

9· What is your advice to those like you who want to put their relatives in such a home?

Dharshini Masilamani Thambiah

Q1: From the three children my mum has, two of us are overseas. I lead a very busy life and therefore we felt that this was a good decision especially as she would also have company in the home. She has a personal care- giver as well.

Q2: It has been a very good decision and the home is very well run with a big garden etc.

Q3: Yes they do and they start the day with prayers and have many activities and in the evening they are brought into the garden.

Q4: The residents are permitted to get about as long as they return by the stipulated time or I am even able to bring my mum home for a few days whenever I want. There are also those who get about to  supermarkets etc.

Q5: It is advantageous to put them in a home if the children or some of them are overseas and in our mum’s case we have a carer for her and we painted her room and put nice linen etc. I don’t see any disadvantages as such.

Q6: It is very well kept but an old building so if someone has the funds to do it up it would be nice.

Q7: The quality of food is excellent and it is very clean and in my mum’s case the carer does her laundry.

Q8: Not really, but visitors are not permitted in the afternoon hours as the residents are resting.

Q9: It all depends on the home and the reason for putting someone into a home. There are good homes and some questionable home, so if you do get a good homes, yes, I would certainly recommend it.

Sunil Dissanayake (Name changed)

Q1: It was entirely her decision after visiting the care home to see a friend.

Q2: A very rewarding experience, well looked after. Good homely environment.

Q4: Yes. Weekly mass, parties etc.

Q5: She is happy and  cared for. Good socializing and interaction.

Q6: Content with this home. Value  for money.

Q7: Good for the amount charged.

Q8: No. Can have visitors, go away for a few days etc. Can have own TV, phone etc.

Q9: It’s an excellent alternative when your own children are away. 

Ruvini Kariyawasan

Q1: It was our mother’s choice. She visited a friend and then fell in love with the place, and also realised that there were three other friends who have moved in there and was adamant to make it her new home.

Q2: I was devastated at the beginning as we never ever thought of our mother in a Home. However, since she was living by herself, she reasoned out with us that she needed more company with people her age. With a lot of reluctance, we agreed. I think this is the best decision my sister and I made, as our mother is much more happier and content now.

Q3: Yes they do. There are religious activities, board games and music, and some even do gardening, like our mother!

Q4: Of course they do. There are some neighbours who invite them for tea and meals and sometimes goodies are sent during tea time. The residents themselves have their groups and they have their own little parties. They celebrate birthdays with special dinners and tea parties.

Q5: I would say that there are no disadvantages. The advantages are that there is security, a happy atmosphere, caring staff and most importantly they have the freedom, like being at home.

Q6: I cannot think of anything that needs to be improved.

Q7: There is a choice of food and they also have the freedom to get food from out. There is staff to clean the Home and also a gardener who keeps the garden immaculately. Laundry is done by each individual. They have the facility to have your own washing machine, refrigerator and television.

Q8: The residents are allowed to go out. But they need to get back by 9pm and if they are getting late, they need to keep the Manager informed. There is also a register which is maintained with the time they go out and also where they would be and a contact number. They are even allowed to stay overnight. Right now, there is a lady who has gone overseas for one month. Yes, visitors are allowed. Most of the time we spend the day with our mother and even have meals there with the residents.

Q9: In Sri Lanka, the tradition has often been to care for elders at home, and there can be a stigma attached to placing them in a Home. However, I strongly feel that there is a gradual shift in this perception. It’s a safe environment, there is warmth, and opportunities for social interaction with people of their age. Sharing positive experiences and stories from families whose parents are in Homes, like us, can also help to pave the way for acceptance. Ultimately, what matters most is the well-being and happiness of our parents.