The Psychology of Catfishing

Why People Pretend to Be Someone Else Online

It’s no wonder catfishing is everywhere. The digital world is the perfect petri dish, giving people a platform and a layer of protection that real life can’t offer. And with social media and endless communication channels, the number of potential victims is endless.

Catfishing: we’ve all heard about it, and some unlucky folks have even been on the receiving end of it. It’s the strange phenomenon where someone, instead of using their real name, face, and life story, invents an entirely fake persona to lure others into a “relationship” or just mess with them. Think of it as identity theft, but for the person doing it, it’s often more about playing pretend than actually stealing anything. From people using a filtered profile picture to full-blown alternate identities, catfishing reveals something pretty telling—and often troubling—about the human psyche.

What drives people to lie about who they are and spin webs of deception? Let’s dive into the psyche of the online catfish and figure out what makes these internet imposters tick.

Why Do People Catfish? 

To start, not everyone behind a fake profile is out to scam you, believe it or not. For many, catfishing is their way of dealing with personal struggles, or a good old-fashioned need for attention. 

Insecurity and Self-Esteem Issues

At its core, catfishing is about one thing: self-esteem. For someone who doesn’t feel “good enough” as they are—maybe they think they’re not attractive enough or interesting enough—the appeal of a whole new identity is irresistible. They can reinvent themselves, add a few inches here, cut a few pounds there, and suddenly, they’re the person they’ve always wanted to be. It’s like wearing a costume to a Halloween party where nobody knows who’s under the mask.

Catfish aren’t villains in their minds; they’re just people who think the “real them” doesn’t measure up. So, with a fresh profile picture and a story a little more interesting than reality, they become someone else, living a life they wish was theirs. And behind a screen, no one can tell the difference—or so they hope.

The Comfort of Anonymity

For others, catfishing is just another way to escape real-life anxieties. The internet is the ultimate “safe space” for these people; it’s somewhere they can explore social connections without the stress of face-to-face judgment. If you’re the shy type or have social anxiety, suddenly you can talk to people with way less pressure. When you’re anonymous, you don’t have to worry about facial expressions, awkward pauses, or—worst of all—actual rejection.

If a relationship gets too close for comfort, the catfish can just ghost and vanish without a trace. There’s something almost addictively safe about it, and for people who have a hard time connecting IRL (in real life), catfishing offers a temporary fix for loneliness. But, as anyone who’s been catfished will tell you, it’s hardly a harmless hobby.

Power, Control, and a Splash of Narcissism

Yes, some catfish genuinely get a thrill from pulling strings. For these types, it’s less about their own insecurities and more about the control they get from weaving a web of deception. They’re like puppeteers, relishing every message they send, knowing the other person has no clue who they really are. Some might even start a whole stable of fake accounts to keep their catfishing “talents” in practice.s

While these folks are a minority, they’re the ones you’ll find creating elaborate stories with multiple fake friends, relatives, and a whole backstory that rivals a soap opera plot. For them, the deception is a game, and they’re out to “win,” even if that means breaking hearts and betraying trust.

The Victim’s Side of the Story

Getting catfished isn’t just some funny story to tell over brunch. For victims, it can be devastating, especially if the relationship has gotten serious. Here’s what’s at stake for the unknowing person on the other side of the screen.

A Hit to Trust and Confidence

Finding out that your online “soulmate” was an invention? That’s a brutal pill to swallow. For many victims, like Shehara*, 27, the discovery can be shattering. “I met him on a dating app, and we messaged for weeks before finally planning to meet,” she says. “Then he kept pushing it off, and one day he just vanished. A friend suggested I do a reverse Google image search and I eventually found out that his photos were lifted from some random person’s Instagram.” 

Stories like Shehara’s are all too common, leaving people questioning their ability to trust others, not just online but in real life, too. After all, if someone can fake an entire identity, who’s to say the next person they meet is who they say they are? The fallout doesn’t just end with a “Whoops, I got catfished!” moment. Victims often feel embarrassed, ashamed, and wary of being so vulnerable again. It’s a hit to their self-esteem that can stick around long after the catfish has disappeared.

Emotional Rollercoaster and Betrayal

It’s hard enough to navigate the emotional ups and downs of a real relationship, but getting emotionally invested in someone who isn’t who they claim to be is next-level tough. Divya*, 31, knows this all too well. “He was so attentive, so caring… it felt like I’d found someone who finally got me,” she explains. “Our relationship was long-distance since he was overseas, so it continued for a while. I foolishly fell for his ridiculous excuses because of how great he was. Then, I found out he was actually using his friend’s photos and pretending to be a different person completely. I felt so betrayed, like I’d fallen for a ghost. What’s worse, he wasn’t even abroad and had never stepped out of the country EVER!”. 

Victims like Divya often experience grief, anger, and disbelief. In some cases, they feel like they’ve lost a real relationship, even if it was built on lies. And that feeling of betrayal? It’s like being stabbed in the back by someone who was never even really there. It leaves a lasting impact, with some victims needing counselling to sort through the emotional wreckage.

The Digital Age: A Playground for Catfish

Let’s face it: the internet practically invites people to reinvent themselves. With apps, filters, and “highlight reels” on social media, everyone is creating an edited version of themselves. But while some might tweak their photos or exaggerate their achievements, catfish take this to a whole new level. They’re not just creating a more polished version—they’re creating a whole new person.

It’s no wonder catfishing is everywhere. The digital world is the perfect petri dish, giving people a platform and a layer of protection that real life can’t offer. And with online dating, social media, and endless communication channels, the number of potential victims is endless.

Breaking the Catfish Cycle: Can It Be Done?

So, can catfish change their ways? The answer is complicated. Some catfish feel genuinely remorseful once the jig is up, often realising they’ve hurt people along the way. For others, though, it’s just a matter of time until they’re back online with a new fake profile. Changing behaviour like this often requires some deep introspection and, in many cases, therapy to address underlying self-esteem and social issues.

And what about prevention? Well, if you’ve got your wits about you, you can spot a catfish by staying sceptical. Look out for anyone who refuses video chats, is strangely evasive, or has an online profile that seems too good to be true. And remember, a reverse image search is your best friend if you suspect the profile picture isn’t legit. 

Catfishing is more than just a quirky internet story; it’s a window into the complexities of human psychology. Some people catfish to feel better about themselves, while others do it for control or validation. And while the digital world makes it easy to be someone else, the fallout is very real for both sides.

So, next time you’re chatting with someone online, keep your guard up. The person on the other end might be exactly who they say they are… or they could be the latest in a long line of catfish looking for attention, companionship, or control. In the wild world of the internet, you just never know.

* Note: Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those interviewed.