The not-so-jolly side of the season

It is incredibly vital to take care of yourself during this period. The overwhelm can take a toll on our mental health which can, in turn, lead to physical maladies. 

Behind the jingle bells and clinking glasses at midnight, Christmas and New Year’s can be a lot harder to power through than it looks. Amidst a multitude of issues, we get caught up in a whirlwind of stress and overwhelm instead of joy, and before we know it, we’re already back to the grind of a brand new year with little to no memories of rest or rejuvenation.

Common festive stressors usually include:

Financial and time pressures - Wondering about the heavy punch your wallet is going to take after purchasing multiple gifts for your friends and family (as well as to participate in that annual Secret Santa at work) under a heavy time strain is not a new worry for most. The issue of a lower income due to days off from work is an added concern, leading to persistent stress in mental health. 

Family tensions - Complicated relationships between families can be difficult to tackle, but the holiday season can be more of a challenge as the obligation to spend time with people you are not comfortable with, arises. An intimate event meant for celebration 

can quickly turn sour and for this reason, many opt out of preparing for the season entirely.

Social obligations and emotional drain - The unspoken pressure to attend numerous gatherings, host parties, or take part in various social events can often leave people feeling overwhelmed. The exhaustion may catch up to them sooner or later and excitement will start to look more like dread, days before an event.  

Routine changes - It’s no secret that the festive season may require us to spend a handful of all-nighters preparing for the occasion, taking us out of our daily routine and putting a strain on our resting time. This would lead to more burnout and the stress may begin to show itself physically over time.

This is what the community had to say regarding their experience with 
the season: 

I see Christmas/New Year’s as a milestone of how far you’ve gotten through the year: as a refresher from the usual day-to-day tasks. The beginning of a new season, where things may be born anew. Overall, it has been pretty stressful, but it’s always interesting to meet up with friends and family to see how they’re doing. The stress is short-lived, but you never know when you will see those people again, so it’s nice to meet up. 
- Daniel -

Christmas is always a bit of a challenge every year because I’m absolutely horrendous at gift-giving. It is evidently not my love language, as I prefer the quality time spent with my loved ones over poring through the shelves for an appropriate present that is tailored to the likes of my friends and family.
- Jerome -

To me, ideally, this is a time to gather around with your loved ones, celebrate the past year and share your hopes and wishes for the year to come. My side of the family are the designated “hosts”. As the only girl in my immediate family, besides my mother, the expectation of having a beautifully decorated festive house, a big meal on the table, well thought-out presents for everyone, not to mention having to take the time to keep ourselves looking presentable, all while having to seem like we’re enjoying ourselves after days of non-stop preparation is overwhelming, to say the least. The way we manage is lots of coffee, 30-minute naps, and plenty of inside jokes to try and keep ourselves in a light mood. Experiencing that stress with her brings us closer during the holidays and we always crush it, despite how secretly miserable we are. It’s bittersweet. 
- Natasha -

Christmas means that I have an amazing excuse to give gifts to people. I don’t have any feelings towards New Year’s, just time passing. However, the biggest stress of the season is meeting up with family members. Most of my family aren’t that great - with them making it seem like I need to meet up with them and smile and nod while they insult me. Why can’t something that says joy be less straining? I believe that tradition is just peer pressure from the dead. I don’t feel like giving in, but that doesn’t take away the pressure and stress that comes from agreeing or refusing. 
- Shenal -

We also asked them the changes they would like to see being made around the season: 

I think these holidays should have a bigger focus on relaxation, reflecting on years that have passed, and enjoying the company of loved ones in a cosy setting. Rather than scrambling around trying to make sure everything is perfect for people you haven’t seen in years. Honestly, I think only children should be receiving presents. As well as less expectation on the women in the family to take on the burden of making sure everything runs smoothly. 
- Natasha -

I think people pushing the idea of selfish gift giving isn’t actually as good as they think. They set high expectations and rules around it instead of using it as a celebration of making it so far in the year. It’s about giving the things you worked very hard on through the tough season and sharing it with loved ones. 
- Shenal -

It seems like the season is amazing for marketing. 
I wish it were focused more on yourself and those that you love, rather than what you are going to purchase for them. On a lighter note, I think Christmas music needs to sound better.  
- Daniel -

I think newer generations should focus less on materialism and rather understand the true importance of the people in your life by having meaningful interactions 
with them. After all, time is finite and none of us have forever together. 
- Jerome -

Ways to manage the festive stress

Planning and time management 

These are two crucial steps that go hand-in-hand when it comes to ensuring that your holiday season is smooth sailing. Planning ahead gives you the advantage of calculating how much time you have for each task and can also help you delegate certain tasks to others who are willing to help. Try to keep in mind that your goals need to be reasonable according to how much time you have left. 

Setting a budget for all activities including gifts and events can minimise the financial stress of the holiday season. If possible, you can discuss a cost limit for gifts with family members and friends, and if you are hosting an event, you can suggest that everyone brings a dish to aid with the financial burden.

Preparing for social events beforehand

Truth be told, family dynamics can get messy from time to time, and even if weaselling out of a family dinner is next to impossible, there are a few strategies you can apply to minimise the stress of having to mingle with people you don’t want to necessarily be around with. For example, before attending an event, be aware of topics you know will lead to a heated discussion and steer clear of them. It could be money, politics or a decade-old family feud. It is important to be cautious of the atmosphere you are bringing to the room. 

Preparing a few neutral topics beforehand so that you have something to speak about to reduce tension is another common social strategy. This way you could entertain and also spark some new discussions along the way. 

Make time in between to de-stress

It is incredibly vital to take care of yourself during this heavily scheduled period. The overwhelm can take a toll on our mental health which can, in turn, lead to physical maladies. Therefore, prioritise self-care and rest, even in the smallest way. Let go of the need to be the perfect host or the perfect Secret Santa. The real joy of the holidays lies in taking a breather and appreciating the people around you along with some great food.

The festive season may not be pleasant for everyone as it can be a key source of triggers, even if we as a society don't necessarily talk about it. 

For anyone experiencing grief from having lost a loved one, you may try to honour their memory by continuing a tradition that your loved one enjoyed during this special holiday and take it as a positive reminder of the memories you shared with them.

If you don’t celebrate the holiday, take this chance to treat yourself to an activity you’ve been wishing to do for a while. It could be binge-watching a show you’ve had your eye on, trying out a new recipe or cruising the streets at night to feast your eyes on the festive lights and decor. If you look long and hard enough, there’s a chance to not let the Grinch steal this season.