What is the best time for men to get married?

Many couples who plan to get married struggle with the decision of when and who. Is there a magic age at which they will be ready? Is there such a thing as ‘love at first sight’ and if so, how do you distinguish instant attraction from infatuation?

Do we get married when we find the right person, or do we get married to whoever’s around when we decide we’re finally ready? Being a medical person it is very difficult to write on how to find the correct person, but here we are trying to talk about the best possible age for men to get married.

In the medical world there has been lots of discussions on right female age to get married and raise a family based on the fertility restriction and bad outcome of the pregnancy. But very little has been said about men.

We are trying to touch on few social aspects and medical grounds to choose the right time to get married (provided that you have found the right partner).

It has been found that the average age for marriage has reached 27 for women and 29 for men -- a jump from the 1990s where the average marrying age was 23 for women and 26 for men.

The aim of getting married in simple term is to raise a healthy family, have a satisfactory sexual life, be happier and reduce the divorce rate.

There are social factors that determine the correct time.

For a long lasting marriage
There are lots of reasons why the late 20s to the early 30s would make sense as a time to start a lifelong partnership with someone. Research shows that the rate of divorce declines as you age from your teenage years through your late twenties and early thirties. Then the chances of divorce go up again as you move into your late thirties and early forties.

Those in this age group are old enough to understand whether they’ll really get along with someone or will be just blinded by hormones. They’ve already made significant life choices and taken on some responsibilities. And they may be just financially stable enough to be able to raise a family.

Raising a family
You have to be in your best possible health till your kids are young. It is good that if you can avoid your middle age ailments when your kids are too young and plan your family accordingly. You have to time your best possible earning capacity when your kids are younger and need lots of financial support for their education. You also have to consider your ageing own parents who need extra support in terms of health. 

Best possible mental health
It is essential that you time your marriage when you are in your best mental health. This is apart from your physical health and you need to be without any additional mental strains.Which is essential for a healthy relationship with your partner and to raise the family. Marriage and divorce are associated with future SWB (social wellbeing). Marriage represents a socially sanctioned expression of love that may facilitate connections to family and community and ultimately lead to heightened levels of SWB.

Medical factors Better late than never
Findings indicated that couples who married “on time” or “late,” as compared with same-age peers who chose early marriage, experienced less depressive symptoms in midlife.

Risk of miscarriage
It has been well established that older age in females is linked to syndromic babies and miscarriages due to poor quality eggs. Similarly with men’s age it has been proven that incidence of “Molar Pregnancies’ (a condition where only placental tissues only formed) is rising.

Incidence of male subfertility
In our experience it is noted that couple who are coming for consultation for delaying in their subsequent pregnancies after the first one found to have unexplained male factor. And incidence is rising with the male age probably due to prolong exposure to toxins (nicotine) and antibody production in the body. Though the males are not having a particular age at which they cease to produce sperms the number and quality may decrease.

Rising co-morbidities
With getting old you have to be on various types of medications. With multi drug therapy there is always a high risk for poor quality sperm production which can lead to poor pregnancy outcome.

Syndromic babies
It has been revealed that some birth defects in babies and syndrome are linked to ageing fathers though not strongly associated like with women.

Birth defects such as congenital heart diseases, bone defects, cleft lips are attributed to aging sperms.

Apart from the above some syndromes like in Down’s syndrome in female can be resulted from old fathers i.e. forms of dwarfism (being short), some bone abnormalities.

The important thing is some neurological manifestation like schizophrenia and depressive illness in offspring can be arising due to old age of the father.

 The decision to marry should be reflective, not rushed. Both parties should take as much time as necessary to ensure that they are prepared to make a lifelong commitment. In general, it appears that the “right time” for marriage is personal to every couple and is impacted by a variety of factors—age being just one among many.

(The writer holds a Fellowship in Cosmetic Gynecology by American Aesthetic Association, an MBBS MD (OBS&GYN) MRCOG (UK) MSLCOG FMAS MESAG, a Diploma in Advanced Gynecological laparoscopy (Germany) and is a Consultant Obstetrician & Gynecologist at DGH Nawalapitiya and Asiri Hospital Kandy)