Savindra Weerasinghe To the greatest man I ever did know…

My dad was a quiet man. Many didn’t know him the way I did. So in these few words, I’d like to introduce you to the man I knew. 

He was multifaceted, extremely modest and hardly spoke about himself even to his children. After his demise, I learnt a lot about him, the fun things he did, how much he loved his friends, how much he cared for his family and how much he cared for those less fortunate than him. And it makes me proud. It makes me proud that he was not only a greater man than I am but also a greater man than what I could ever be. I need not look far to find my role model. He was sitting at home all these years, tenderly edging us on. 

My dad was a great sportsman. Only a few knew this. He was a great ruggerite, swimmer, boxer, cricketer and hockey player. My dad never bragged about his achievements. I learnt everything about him from his friends. It puzzles my mind how a man could have done so many sports. Also, looking at photographs of his Rugby days, he was a big boy and would have placed a mean tackle. 

I learnt from a few of my father’s classmates that he was a great orator and thespian. I know he would have been very happy seeing my brother and I debate for college and become lawyers like he wanted to be at one point. What a great lawyer he would have been and Hulftsdorp would never have been the same if he had taken to law. But he lacked a Sinhalese O/Level Credit because he did his O/L’s in England and therefore couldn’t join Law College. 

He was also adventurous. For instance, he and his friends once hitchhiked Nuwara Eliya. My dad loved the sea so much so that he used to swim to the reef and back for exercise. He and his friends had a pet octopus that lived on the reef that they used to feed regularly. This lifestyle wasn’t without peril as he once got caught to a rip tide and found himself dragged from Colpetty to Bambalapitiya within a matter of minutes. However, this skill served him well because he one day saved a man drowning from being caught in a rip current. 

My dad had a great sense of humour. He had quirky names for all of us. I would get a new name every week! He once used to call me ‘Fiddle Duke’ and my brother ‘Lord Fauntleroy.’ Most of his humour however was directed at my mom whom he would bully morning, noon and night. 

Honestly, for everyone married out there, love doesn’t end after 40 years of marriage. Dad used to become a giddy schoolboy every single time my mom walked in through the door. We know mom is at home because he always shouted: “Its Romy know.”  

I have never met a man more devoted and in love with his wife than my dad. In fact, even on the day he went to meet his heavenly father, he looked at my mom and said; “You look so pretty today.” And he was finding it very difficult to talk on those last days. 

Everyday he was with us, he would bring something back home for my mom. Usually, it was a malupaan, an ice coffee or rambuttan -- my mom loved rambuttan. He would look at her adoringly all the time; except if they had a squabble. I think most of his likes were also because of my mom. For instance, they would watch all her TV programmes like a ritual from 7:00 to 10:00 p.m. everyday – my mom would compromise and watch the news with him for an hour. 

To us, he was a gentle giant. He never condemned people. I remember he once came up to me and said; “You know, there are two instances when it’s okay to disobey your parents. Firstly, if what they say conflict with your belief in God and secondly, in choosing your life’s  partner.” He said if you found a girl you really loved, then go for it, for love was the most important thing. 

My dad was a good man. While he kept only few friends close, there were many who loved him and he had quite a following. I speak of the multitude of beggars he would help almost daily outside St. Mary’s Church in Bambalapitiya, Infant Jesus Church in Slave Island and the Wellawatte Mosque. 

He loved God. Apart from gifts we got every Christmas and on our birthdays, we got Christian books and Christian movies. He used to go to Infant Jesus Church every Friday and church every Sunday. He had so many prayer books that he pored through regularly. He loved God and God loved him which is why I am confident he is now with God chatting to the Father probably about his little family back home. So that was who he was – a strong man with a big heart! He loved his wife, his children and he loved God! 

He was a principled gentleman. He is the most honest and decent man I know. Money didn’t motivate him. What motivated him were love, family, decency and innocence. He had an inherent want to take care of people, the poor, the weak and the needy. And this was who he was, but this side of him, nobody knew. 

If anyone were to ask me whom I wanted to be, it’s not some hotshot lawyer or business tycoon… I want to be like my dad; an honest, loving, caring, decent, principled man with a heart of gold! 

You, dad, were truly a son of the most high 
 Truly a child of God
 His most excellent creation
 Although imperfect through affliction you were perfect through the virtues you had inside 
 I stand here today proud 
 Proud not because I went to a good school 
 Not because of what I have achieved in life 
 Not because of anything I own, 
 But because of you… because I am your son!  
Now I’d like to read out a poem my father read at the funeral oration of his dad: 
“No one shall take your place 
 No other face can fill that empty frame 
 There is no answer when we call your name 
 We cannot hear your step on the stair 
 Something is broken, which we cannot mend 
 God has taken more than a friend 
 In taking you for all we have left 
 Is bruised and irremediably bereft 
 There is none like you yet not that alone do we bemoan 
 But you were greater than the rest 
 And better than the best” 
Goodbye Sweet Prince… 
 When we meet next it will be in paradise… 
 Love you forever… 
Revan Weerasinghe