Single mother care: The untold story of single mothers

If we were to tie in intersectional thoughts and take account of this society’s economic, historical, and social differences among genders, we’d be aware of the oppression, diversity, and inequality portrayed among women. 
The inequality and differences are also emphasized by existing in a male-dominant society, where there’s a construction of roles and expectations for women.
Feminists recognize that the expectations of women are placed under a social construct and that one of the major expectations of being a woman is being placed into motherhood. 
Although many women are part of motherhood or are expecting to be in motherhood, the experiences of motherhood differ among women according to single handed or 
family bound.
 Women have the commonality of being subordinate to men; that their families and their role of a mother aren’t as dominant as the man’s role. 
People fail to acknowledge the shifts, struggles, burdens and forced duties that a mother intakes and every woman experiences these things on a varied spectrum.The shared experience of the bond between just a woman and her motherhood will never be experienced by a man. 
Single mothers carry the weight of the world in their shoulders and are sometimes the sole, if not primarily, looking after their children’s well-being.

What is a single mother family?

 Single-parent is a parent who cares for one or more children who are under the age of 18 without the physical assistance of another parent at home. “Single parenthood” may vary according to the local laws.
Why do they become single mothers?
As a result of a divorce. As they become widowed.
As they become a victim of sexual abuse. Apart from that, some single mother families exist because of their choiceAdoption of a child without a partner by undergoing artificial insemination, surrogate motherhood, and unmarried by choice.
But mostly single-parent families came about because of the death of a spouse and being a victim of sexual abuse -the group that we are going to talk about.
First, we have to respect a handful of mothers who are looking after their families with no difference in bonded families who are lucky to have good background support.
Besides that, most of the single-parent families face common problems and special challenges. The most common problem is their children. 
Children who live with a single mother have to take care of themselves and get less care from parents because of their busy working. According to social scientists, children who are growing up in single-parent families face disadvantages in other ways when compared to two-biological-parent families. 
Many of these problems are directly related to the poor economic conditions of single-parent families, not just to parenting style.

"If we were to tie in intersectional thoughts and take account of this society’s economic, historical, and social differences among genders, we’d be aware of the oppression, diversity, and inequality portrayed among women"

Stigma in society

In most of the backward societies, Single mothers are neglected especially if she is a victim of sexual abuse. She will not be exposed to society by her family members and she’ll tend to lose her rights to work and gain an education. Sometimes she will be deprived of having basic health care in the case of young girls who have become mothers, there is no way of continuing their education to achieve their goals and deprives a chance to alleviate poverty.

Economics of single-parent families

Unfortunately, single mothers are faced with double the work, stress, tears and financial difficulties. Especially during the current tough and uncertain economy, the word ‘difficult’ becomes an understatement here.
In single-mother families, when a single-mother is divorced or widowed, and if she is already unemployed and if she hasn’t any other income to maintain the family a Single-mother has to face economic problems, such as lack of money paid for children’s studies. 
When she tries to earn she has to face with child-rearing issues. And because of social deprivation, she will only have limited job opportunities.

"Feminists recognize that the expectations of women are placed under a social construct and that one of the major expectations of being a woman is being placed into motherhood"

Impacts on the mother and herself

It has been statistically proven that the lack of social support for single mothers causes them to spiral into depression. 
Single mothers are likely to have mental health issues, financial hardships, and they live in a low-income area and receive low levels of social support. All of these factors are taken into consideration when evaluating the mental health of single mothers. The occurrence of moderate to severe mental disability was more pronounced among single mothers at these mental disabilities are not limited to anxiety and depression. Financial hardships also affect the mental health of single mothers. Women aged 15–24, were more likely to live in a low socio-economic area have one child and haven’t completed their senior year of high school. These women have reported being as in the two lowest income areas. Non-address bereavement issues in case of widowed, mental trauma which is not properly counselled in cases of sexually abused victims and stigma created by the society are all contributory to her labile mental status.

The effects on children

In single-parent families, children tend to experience short-and long-term psychological disadvantages, In addition, children in single-parent families are more likely to suffer emotional problems due to mother and father split up or due to many other reasons. 
Such as higher absentee rates at school, lower levels of education, and higher dropout rates. Besides that, they will engage in a more delinquent activity, including alcohol and drug addiction. Teenagers, on the other hand, are more negatively affected by parental discord prior to divorce than by living in single-parent families and actually gain responsibility as a result of altered family routines. Children in single-mother homes are also more likely to experience health-related problems as a result of the decline in their living standard.
 In future, children who are from single-parent families become adults, they are more likely to marry early, have children early, and divorce. Girls are at a greater risk of becoming single mothers as a result of noncapital childbearing or divorces.

The lower level of educational 

Children or teenagers who live under single-parent families will face a lower level of education because of the poor economic condition and poor guidance and again sometime social stigma may operate on them depriving better educational opportunities.

Children/ Teenagers having conflict with their parent

Children or teenagers who live in single-parent families will have conflicts with their parents. This may be due to lack of communication and poor attention as mothers have to spend lot more time in working outside and spending less time with their children or may be due to frustration created by the social stigma.

"The occurrence of moderate to severe mental disability was more pronounced among single mothers at these mental disabilities are not limited to anxiety and depression."

Less supervised by the parent

Due to the multi-role that has to be played by the single mother most of the time their children will be neglected resulting in a higher rate in drug abuse or teenage pregnancies which will give rise to a vicious cycle.  

Where do we stand?

As a country, we are far behind the rest of the world in looking after the Single Mothers
First, we have to safeguard the right to education for young girls who have become unwillingly pregnant. We have to make awareness programs among the school community that they should have equal rights to learn therefore there will be better job opportunities to alleviate poverty.
We have to formulate a better social security system to look after their economic needs so that they can spend a lot more time with the family and therefore reducing the operation of the vicious cycle.
We have to work hard on bringing up the changes in attitude towards single mothers and avoid the stigma of being a single mother. In fact, we should learn to pay more respect to them as they are playing multiroles in their lives.
We have to pay attention to their children who are in need of better education and financial support.
Finally, we have to drive our law and the order system against the culprits who are responsible for making solo mothers
The writer Dr Kanishke Samaranayake, MD (OBS&GYN) MRCOG (UK) is a Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist and the DGH Nawalapitiya.