Against ageism angst!

“Aged like fine wine,” is a reoccurring saying that most of us would recall over the years. From parents to peers this was said referencing someone who was ‘getting on in years,’ beautifully with each component of their very being seemingly improving with time. Maybe the wine connoisseurs are rapidly dwindling or the general tastes for the finer wines have become diluted because now for many, ‘age’ is a word frighteningly on par with death!

This mindset of equating a natural and inevitable progression in life with absolute terror often has been a source of fascination and confusion to me. This is far from a new, or localized system of thought, but one that crosses seas of time, and all of the earth’s boundaries. I recall acquaintances of my grandparents and parents who would take personal affront at anyone if they so far as hinted at the dreaded topic of age. Glares would be exchanged and a quick change of topic needed to avoid a speedy exit by the recipient of these assumed provocation! In sharp contrast, I also have the fondest memories of my mother Delerine making the biggest fuss and announcing to everyone who was around how old she was, and making it a point to include candles on her cake that fast proceeded with their growing numbers to cover the entire surface in a bonfire. This set the tone for my lack of any fear in the aging department.

The ‘chronologically challenged’ are on a constant mission to take every possible course of action, not only to stop ‘father time’ but to eradicate the entire ‘time’ family! There are those who believe in shaving a ‘few years’ off, sometimes ‘shaving’ heavy handedly with what must be a super sharp machete. Why ‘shave off’ when they think they can get away with ‘cutting off’ the years? They are joined by the ‘stagnating stragglers’ who ‘put on the brakes,’ deciding to remain at a certain age for as a long as possible. In many of these cases ‘possible’ is prefixed with ‘I’m’ when we hear the brazenly bizarre numbers they try to get away with! An indicator that all this is simply falling apart is the unavoidable facts of simple mathematics. If one has children of a certain age, and the wonderful addition of grandchildren as well, it is a bit difficult to stick with these ridiculous numbers, unless of course one had ones own Children at a disturbingly and physiologically frightening early age! 

Many press the pause button conveniently on a number that is pre or post ‘milestone.’ We all know those who have languished in their ‘late’ and ‘early’ of any given decade, for what seems like decades! This is comedy at its best considering that with socialites throwing themselves birthday bashes, their own media ‘history’ shows how long they have been stagnating. This ‘pausing’ can be as scary as the ‘rewinding’ because unless you literally have the same condition as the protagonist in “the curious case of Benjamin Button”, no one ages in reverse!

We also notice now that it is not just those belonging to a ‘certain age’ who partake in these masquerades, but seemingly much younger folks are also getting stuck in this muddy pool of ‘age shame.’ It is a bit scary when someone is in their twenties or thirties, and are terrified of revealing their age, because they are stuck on a ‘desirability digit’ that has absolutely no relevance to anything! 

The ‘pause and effect’ scenario happens earlier and earlier with members of both sexes simply wracked with fear in each decade. I do empathize and understand that maybe the ‘nine’ at the end can be a source of shakiness for some, but my understanding goes out the window when I see the concocted conspiracies that are generated simply to throw people off! A whole other article needs to, and will be dedicated to the fashion choices that are abundant in the pursuit of youth. 

The tool of choice for some of those we know for ‘shaving off’ the years, is the scalpel. This again is each person’s business and their absolute right. If you want your surgeon of choice to ‘refresh’ so be it. Your money, your face, your right! This turns into a slipperier slope than the water slide at a kid’s pool party, when the ‘refreshing’ turns into a completely unrecognizable ‘overhaul.’ This worldwide obsession has a firm hold in Sri Lanka as well with us doing double takes when we see people, for all the wrong reasons! Pulled and pinched these walking quilts are real life Frankenstein’s with everything stitched into place! No one believes they are any younger. They just look a little more desperate and their facial expressions a little less mobile. Add in the ‘quick fix’ peddlers with their syringes on the ready, injecting every possible chemical, and we have eager recipients looking permanently super surprised and strangely perplexed. 

Does it ever occur to them that aging is a gift? That each day, week, month and year we are given is a true blessing? We all know so many who did not have the good fortune of aging, and were taken from life early. Would they and their families not have given anything to have the gift of more years? To have more time spent in life? I think when we begin to realize the complete and utter wonderment of being given time with those we love, we could look at aging a little differently. 

I turned fifty this month, and could not be more humbled with gratitude, and filled with unabashed joy at having five awesome decades of time with my loved ones. I have never had any cosmetic procedures and am a proponent of balanced living. I workout religiously, and am the supreme foodie (with no portion control, as many already know!). If you do feel the need to partake in ‘ageism’ (self inflicted or with others), think a little bit more about how fighting the inevitable is a losing battle, and that there is a reason that people admire those who ‘age gracefully’ (as opposed to disgracefully). Half a century is a massive boon for which I am so very thankful, and look forward to each new day with a gleam of hope, to make it the best it could possibly be!