Testy Travel Tartlets

It seemed like for the past almost three years international travel was a distant memory, where we sat safely and happily at home reminiscing about visiting friends and families spread across the world, and in my case visiting favorite museums and galleries. Thankfully, vaccinations have reached far and wide where global travel restrictions are easing to the point where we can actually think of getting on an aircraft again! With travel of course comes added visual entertainment!

It seemed that the entire country was running off to Dubai as soon as travel commenced to the point where I asked my sister if there was some special incentive for so many to dash to the desert! Expo aside we saw what seemed like thousands of pictures of our travelers framed and reflected in every possible man made artificial shiny surface, which pretty much sums up the ‘go to’ attractions of this Emirate. Dancing fountains and the infamous spindly towering landmark proved the ‘must have’ backdrops for those who left searing heat searching for scorching heat!

The restriction roulette was in full swing where nation after nation eased their requirements and we were tempted to pack our bags and rush to the airport. Now for those like myself the thought of airport drudgery and sitting or sleeping on planes equates finding the most mundane and comfortable of clothing to serve the purpose of simply keeping me covered from point A to point B. Not so for many others!

Welcome to the travesty and tragedy of ‘airport looks.’ Now this nonsensical phenomenon, also perpetrated by our northern neighbor, has taken on a disturbing proportion of media attention. With the movie fraternity leading the way, we see stars, star directors, star families and star leaches all vying for the flash pop posing like startled gazelle while looking like startling party decorations! These walking fashion faux pas have decided that the desperation for publicity is worth looking like extras from Sesame Street! From feathers to pleathers, from sheer to sheared these looks induce ‘green’ with nausea rather than envy! The saddest part is that some style deprived stylists are actually paid to come up with these monstrous looks. These style criminals certainly should be reprimanded for committing ‘crimes of fashion!’ Maybe these overeager over-dressers need to look at how ‘true blue’ global celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Charlize Theron, and George Clooney choose understated comfort for travel.  

My sister Dinushka and I recently indulged in a ‘mini vacay’ where as usual our ‘airport looks’ were comfortable leggings, tees and workout shoes. Of course our tropical Colombo airport offered up some entertainment as well with travelers wearing boots and heavy coats obviously unaware that said items can be in carry on luggage and simply put on pre-arrival. Oh, but that would negate the excitement of ‘showing’ that they were traveling to cooler climes! It could be the currency crisis or just bad taste but there were also those who decided that it was a must to look like a Maharani on her wedding day, resplendent with massive jewelry that would undoubtedly alter the weight and balance of the aircraft! 

The makeup some of these decedent divas chose to simply get on a plane was also an eye sore to behold. With eyeliner winged and lashes clumped, painted pouts and cheeks chiseled, these tawdry travelers obviously assumed that there was some sort of photo shoot happening pre or post departure. The very thought of all this caked makeup made me want to reach for cleanser and cotton pads! Us mere mortals on the other hand were with faces slathered in moisturizer as we sat with spectacles on, looking forward to seeing folks we hadn’t seen in ages.

Returning after our little holiday we also saw travelers who had been diving into salacious tabloid magazines for style inspiration. We had those who were in everything new, gleaming shoes, bags, and clothes where the price tags were just snipped off on the way to the airport. These ‘new looks’ were joined by ‘label lovers’ who believed that ‘bolder was better’ when it came to branding! There were also the ‘delusional’ who despite the weather being quite glacial thought to dress in the skimpiest of the skimpy, for projected sunshine at their ‘final destinations.’ Again one maybe traveling from London to Barbados but considering the temperature at Heathrow and onboard an aircraft, one must be blessed with amazing internal combustion to survive these wintery travels.

In many an airport another nonsensical activity that testy travellers indulge in is the terminal bar hopping. Now I do understand that a glass or two can be absolutely wonderful, and could even be stretched to an extra when with a group of friends or family departing on a well-deserved adventure. I too indulge in a few rosy bubbles onboard pre-departure and maybe another with food, but that is it. When I see shrieking groups of inebriated women channeling the mythological harpies, precariously defying gravity on the edge of bar stools in over crowded airport bars and lounges, I have to shudder and avert my eyes. Men travelling in groups also sometimes frequent terminal watering holes and attempt at regaining their long, long, long lost youth by regressing into pubescent behavior, wearing clothes fit for their sons, and leering lasciviously at passing passengers, while trying their best at slurred ‘far-from-witty’ banter. 

Travel should and could be fun, and fun can take on many different layers. Reality though as always needs to be an anchor that keeps us from slipping into the ridiculous. Most People are highly aware of the travel do’s and don’ts and are also sensitive to the fact that an airport is not ones personal space, and that unless one is travelling on a private jet, the aircraft too is a shared space. Knowing this also means that one must enjoy ones travels but also look out for overall wellbeing. The behavior of one or two can have an effect on the many since the ‘shared spaces’ ethos means that a simple act of silliness can result in delays and unnecessary chaos. Also none of us are that important that we need to worry about looking a ‘certain way’ especially considering that everyone has different agendas and destinations. Travel well and with wellness, and most importantly travel with ones eyes open to the firm realities that surround us all.