“Home is where the heart is.”

For me this is certainly a fact because I do spend heaps of time enjoying and truly relishing being at home. Homes are symbolic also of the one constant sphere where one is safe, secure, sated and satisfied. Unfortunately for some ‘symbolic’ is exactly what it is. Growing up in my grandmother, Erin Don Carolis’ sprawling old home on Don Carolis road, we were always happiest playing in the garden shrieking and hollering and usually getting back in covered in grime, looking like we had been pulled backwards through a hedge! I also fondly recall the many parties she would throw, where her friends would have a riotous time, usually culminating with Gran at her piano and the revelers singing at many a varied key. There was no social media, and really back in those dark ages the media was also limited. Not like that would have made any difference to us! Her friends consisted of a ‘social mixed bag,’ with a sprinkling of relatives thrown in for good measure. What also stood out was that Gran was the first ‘anti-snob’ to make an impression on me, teaching us by example that snobbery was the basest of behavioral traits. Days gone by for sure, looking at many a home and house party of the so-called modern era!

I know many people with absolutely beautiful homes that are full of character, rich in diversity, and embodying the true spirit of living. On the flip side, I also see homes that are clinically perfect, lacking warmth and personality, which could also be a reflection of the owners! These ‘monuments to ego’ are purely show piece properties that look like they have never been lived in, or loved in! Taking the ‘mine is bigger than yours,’ to a whole other level, some of these houses are cold marble monoliths akin to the massive mausoleums of times gone by, rather than warm abodes for those still very much living on this earth. This of course is nothing to do with the square footages, or the building materials but more to do with the attitude, and aura, which can so easily be read when entering. So what makes a beautifully appointed house, but not a home? A few basics do come to mind. As I said in a previous article the state of the art kitchens are rarely cooked in, and except for making a show of gathering around a pot of milk for auspicious occasions, most of the family members have never ventured near any kitchen utensils. Candles in the candelabra are lit only when guests are around, pools and pets are for pictures, spa areas are for collecting mold, and the required exercise equipment serves as beautifully shiny dust magnets. The true hilarity comes through though when the guests arrive, and the photo ops pop!

Many of us have been to the immaculately organized parties where perfection is the key word of all that is within. From the guests to the menu, from the art on the walls to the sculptures strewn about, everything seems overtly calculated, and planned. Planned for what? Making the perfect impression! Going to these homes I feel I have entered a museum rather than a home and I personally also find perfection abysmally boring! Like many a creative individual I am ultimately intrigued by the nuances rather than the complete presentation. Let’s not forget that Angelina Jolie, considered to be one of the most beautiful beings on earth, was thought strange for her overtly full lips, which I might add are a genetic disposition and not a cosmetic outcome. 

Having seen her in person with my friend Mindy on the red carpet in LA, Angelina’s ‘perceived imperfection’ collectively with the rest of her, makes for an astonishingly gorgeous sight! Many of Da Vinci’s works under modern analysis shows numerous layers where the artist made errors, and blended them in to make for a more powerful overall work of art. Perfection was never the goal, since a story, a message, an emotion was the driving force, and the conveyance was meant to inspire thought. Quite different to many of the perfection driven folks processes of operation around town. 

When First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy moved into the White House in 1961, she set about wanting to create a home filled with ‘warmth’ and insisted that everything, from the entertainments to the furnishings, should reflect the fact that a young family actually ‘lived’ there. She wanted unpretentious ‘wild-flower’ inspired floral décor arranged low to the tables so that even at state banquets guest didn’t have to peer around to speak to one another. She instructed the Chief Usher to have all fireplaces with roaring log fires during the winter months, adding to the literal and figurative warmth of the home. She would sit at the pantry table, much to the dismay of the staff, and eat a bowl of ice cream with her sister Lee, and also gather the kids around to have barefoot cookouts with hamburgers and milkshakes on the south lawn. This, from one of the most elegant and style astute women to have ever lived. Jackie certainly knew the difference between a (white) house and a home!

When we add in social media to the mix of the hilarity, the haute homeowners get even more excited. Every moment of every movement needs to be captured in the perfect light, to highlight ‘perfection’. Never would a candle be slightly shorter, or a leaf slightly greener, as that would throw the entire house-museum into disarray! If it is not captured for the world to see, what point is there in having beautiful homes? This is the sad truth of many an haute home maker today. 

Give me a home filled with raucous resounding laughter and a few barks, a table filled with yummy food and a few spills, an eclectic mélange of furniture combining heirlooms and thrift store finds, walls covered in art that has a connection to those who live within, and photographs in mismatched frames. Throw in some flowers from the garden, and a few paw prints on the floor, and I am in heaven! For me a home is where we not only live, but also make memories, and most importantly, a place where anyone and everyone feels at home!